The JaYmes Escape

It was a match that the Kiwis were gunning to win; so certain are they of Rugby superiority that the first tour match was a golden opportunity to show the Poms who was boss. Unfortunately it didn’t quite work out for them as the Lions played a tough game and won against Bay of Plenty 20-34. Some derision of performance aside this was an important first hurdle; defeat by a provincial team in the first match of the tour would have been a psychological disaster for the Lions, especially coupled with the unfortunate ankle injury sustained by Lawrence Dallaglio.

Today, June 6th, is apparently the Queen’s birthday, and lucky New Zealanders get a public holiday to celebrate. Now that I’m a temping office boy this is a special cause for celebration; not only do I get the day off – I also get paid for it. Fantastic. Working today would have been all the better though, the law here is that working on a public holiday gets you time and a half and a day in lieu. It almost makes up for the sub-standard wages they pay everyone the rest of the time.

Remember Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf, the Iraqi Minister of Information? He was ridiculed during the Iraq war (2003) for making statements like ‘The Cruise missiles do not frighten anyone. We are catching them like fish in a river‘, ‘The American press is all about lies! All they tell is lies, lies and more lies‘, ‘Iraq is a country that promotes freedom‘ and ‘There are no American infidels in Baghdad. Never!‘*. Something I read today reminded me of him.

Aussi aujourd’hui, les francais et le ‘non’. C’est un grand surprise (!)**. I can thoroughly recommend Why Europe Will Run the 21st Century by Mark Leonard, which I read a few weeks ago. Despite the title Mark makes very clear where he feels the EU, now the world’s largest economy, succeeds and where it will fail. Federalism, presidents and foreign ministers are things he is not only against, but predicts will simply not come about because they would fail to serve any useful function. Plus of course most of us (even a la France) simply don’t want them. Duh.

I’m still in Auckland, staying in The Brown Kiwi. It’s raining a lot, I’m doing dull temping jobs and I’ve just had a very short, sharp cold (all those years in London has made my immune system rapid and thorough). Sydney is definitely beckoning.

*Actually one of these quotes is not Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf, but an appropriately altered quote from George W Bush. See if you can tell which.

**Je suis tres desole pour moi francais tres mal

It’s going to be quite interesting watching the British election from the other side of the world. Here in New Zealand they view our electoral system as a bit of a throwback to the dark ages. In the early nineties they moved into the age of proportional representation here and for the most part it’s been a tremendous success. Of course the big parties haven’t liked it too much; in the current parliament the ruling Labour party has had to pander to the desires of the Greens to keep their legislation on-track, and the main opposition National party has lost a lot of ground to smaller newcomers with trendy names like ‘United Future’.

But it’s all good for the voter; with a coalition pretty much a certainty minority parties get a hand in and are no longer a ‘wasted vote’. Instead of one party getting to do whatever they want, they have to negotiate for votes; if something’s a bad idea it simply won’t fly, no matter how keen the government is on it. The Greens have managed to sustain New Zealand’s proud ‘GE Free’ (aka GM Free) status as well as their historic Nuclear-free status, and the public are right behind them.

Anyway, back in Blighty you look set for a classic two horse race with Tony’s cronies the firm favourite. How insanely boring. Watching these slimy idiots bicker about the pithy differences between their policies is a waste of time. When push comes to shove they never keep their word anyway. The best thing for British democracy right now would be a hung parliament and a coalition government. That way they have to behave.

Charles Kennedy might not have much chance of making it to number 10 but I’d love to see him being a complete pain in Tony’s backside. That would be priceless, and highly effective.